bacon:

koobaxion:

We’re the SAME AGE

unbelievable delivery

teathattast:

teathattast:

cykelops:

me: wish games had choices that actually mattered

me when games have choices that actually matter:

infamousrunawayxnginxxr:

sneef-to-a-snorf-fight:

dammitsammy:

hugs-to-a-knife-fight:

theawkwardqueerturtle:

chiribomb:

schakira:

hugs-to-a-knife-fight:

rogha:

there’s got to be at least one trans woman named eve out there whose deadname is adam. and she’s the funniest person to ever grace this earth with her presence.

I feel so appreciated :3

WE FOUND HER!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD SAID ADAM AND EVE SO SHE WAS BOTH

I said this same thing! Except I’m also bi so I add to it a little 😇

Oh hey idk why it says I deactivated. I just changed my name. Still here babes 😎

delmondo:

ryu1964:

delmondo:

ryu1964:

delmondo:

ryu1964:

delmondo:

moonlandingwasfaked:

delmondo:

people who put their gum under tables are wild animals they literally do not have higher level cognitive functions. they live in nature.

calling them wild animals is an insult to nature

sorry you’re right i should’ve said baboons

I call my father Babbu but I hate my father Die father

Die Babbu

^ This Die Babbu

Hell on babbu technique

unstablebill:

I’ve been scream laughing at this for several days

puppygirl-hornyposting:

animentality:

femmedesyeuxnoirs:

hatingongodot:

I love lying to kids. It’s so fun. My coworker’s daughter said she speaks 2 languages and I said I spoke 17,000 and she narrowed her eyes at me and was like “… no you don’t” and it was the cutest thing.

The last time I saw her I told her I was a “half-magician” that can only do 50% of a trick, and I showed her how I can tear a piece of paper in two but can’t make it come back together, and she got soooo annoyed with me. Absolutely adorable. Lying to children is the best

puppygirl-hornyposting:

cannibalchicken:

risingpilots:

“Ugh I just don’t like rap/hip-hop music I just find it boring and can’t get into it 😔”

Shut the fuck up and listen to juvenile perform back that azz up at the npr tiny desk rn